The way to be happy in this world is not to sit back and wait for goodness but to search for it and then see it when it’s in front of you; the way to find happiness with your soulmate is to become real soulmate. The potential is there already. To be happy with yourself, you must reconnect to your own soul. To be happy with your soulmate you must reconnect with her soul. It doesn’t even matter where that alienation came from; who started it is unimportant. You have within you the capability to overcome it. She has in her heart a great deal of pain because she feels detached, too. The part of that pain predated your relationship. Perhaps, she was searching for the balm from her family pain when you two met. Perhaps, she thought that your relationship would cure all the wounds. When it didn’t, she got angry or she withdrew.
Nevertheless, it’s never too late to begin helping another to heal. Paradoxically, in doing so, you, too, will heal. It begins with listening to soul mate’s heart without needing or wanting to speak, listening in a way that your soulmate knows she is being listened to and she knows she is being heard. This only works when it is quiet listening. It cannot be listening to anger or bitterness. Anger and bitterness does not come from the soul. Encourage her soul to speak by showing your readiness to listen from yours.
While you are listening, open your own soul to it. Allow the connections to form anew. This process is not easy. It will take effort to keep oneself from slipping back into a place of anger, bitterness, or victimhood. It will take effort to be patient with the slow blossoming of another soul. You can arm yourself with self-love, self-respect, patience with yourself, appreciation for what you have overcome, and the goodness in your life.
It will not do to wait with anxiety. That is coming from a selfish place, a place of wanting. Your waiting works when it is like waiting for your best friend to open a gift. Have a vision of "we-ness" when you and this other soul will connect. When that happens, you, too, will be healed, not only because of your own efforts, but because of the empathy and kindness of this other soul reaching back to you. That’s when you become soul mates.