Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Marriage is for life. Man and woman joined in wedding are the fortunate one working together in God’s resolve that life should go on. God joins both the life-giving and love-giving aspects of man and woman’s sexuality into one reality in marriage. What God has joined man must not divide, therefore love and life in matrimony must not be alienated. The two have been brought together as one gift by God.

God is love and love’s greatest expression is in the child born of a virtuous, whole family. Family is the base of civilization. Broken families have really no good taste, etiquette, or education and are violent. The family unit is the origin of humanity itself. The Holy Trinity is woman, man, and baby. We as a society, of any race, need to rebuild the community and indeed heal the world as a whole by rebuilding the family unit, giving our children, mothers and fathers who stay together in dedicated, genuine relationships.

Now it is acceptable and even preferred by some to be the "side chick", "side piece" or tolerate "open relationships", promiscuity, and noncommittal sexual unions. This destroys human divinity and is not in God’s vision of whole and supreme love. Children are broken when their parenthood is broken.

It is a prayer that we be wise and desire wholeness for ourselves and our progeny. Woman’s highest blessing is to love and live justly. Her greatest role is The Great Mother. She desires to manifest love in the world in all forms, not merely romantic, sexual love, as is commonly and erroneously believed. Woman creates romantic love to open the way for real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.

Posted October 20, 2014 by dranilj1 in Art of Living

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Effects of Exercise

The Best Way Out is Always Through

Immediate Effects of Exercise on Blood Pressure is to rise it during exercise.  Regular physical activity makes the heart stronger, and more efficient. As the heart becomes more efficient, it becomes more able to pump greater amounts of blood with less effort. As a result, the heart does not need to beat as quickly to deliver blood to the body. Since the heart is pumping slower, it is also placing less stress and pressure on the arteries. After several weeks or months of regular exercise, most people should notice a decrease in resting pulse and blood pressure. For this reason, regular exercise as a drug-free approach to treating high hypertension is recommended.

Although regular exercise has a long-term effect on blood pressure and pulse, these beneficial effects require a continued exercise program. The benefits last only as long as you continue to exercise. Before initiating any type of regular exercise routine, consult your doctor to ensure your utmost health and safety.

Fitness is the best discipline training method on earth. If you want to build more discipline into your life, try becoming more fit. If you struggle with being disorganized or unfocused, try working out more, or doing something physical that has to do with your fitness. You’ll find those experiences are the best discipline training methods on earth.

When you are in a solid workout routine – everything falls into place.  The beauty of fitness is the simplicity.  In contrast to all the stuff out there trying to complicate things and telling you all the stuff you need to have to get fit, there’s only two main components to fitness: Diet & Exercise.  Diet = What You Put In Your Body.  Exercise = What You Do With Your Body.

You have complete control over each of those components.   You can get in incredible shape with a jump rope and a pull up bar and bodyweight exercises. 

When it comes to things like running your business, getting organized or simply getting over mental barriers, it’s easy to have other things come in the way and blame them. Bureaucracy, other people, regulations, imagined problems, timelines, and other things you can’t always control. But, when it comes to Diet & Exercise: What you put in your body and what you do with it , you absolutely control it. With a 100% accuracy, you’re able to control what you put in your body and what you do with it – no matter what. In every other aspect of life, there might be variables, but if discipline is defined as training to improve a skill, then fitness is the one thing you have complete control of if you want to. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

Fitness is measurable. There are metrics. You know whether you’re getting better, faster, stronger or if you’re going in the other direction. The iron never lies. Fitness is measurable. Fitness is a physical activity. It moves you from thinking to doing. It’s physical activity that forces you to push your physical limits, so you can push your mental ones too. Fitness is physical.  Fitness is a choice every day. It can take 8 weeks to get into shape and only 2 to lose it all. Every day, you choose to either get more or less fit by the choices you make. There is no pause, coast or cruise control. Fitness is a daily discipline.

The default state for everything is stagnation. If you’re not working to improve your fitness daily, it will automatically start deteriorating. Fitness is constant improvement.  Fitness often reflects how you live the rest of your life. If you’re waking up at 5 AM, getting your workout in, going for a run and taking a cold shower to start the day, it’s hard to want to slack off the rest of the day. Even if you do – you have a head start on everybody else because you’ve been working for 2 hours by the time everyone else gets up. If you find your fitness regimen disorganized, you’ll tend to find other aspects of life – your business, your social and even your physical stuff  – disorganized.  Fitness reflects your life.

If you put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. Being ruthless with your physical limits and your fitness specifically  opens up windows into other parts of your life where you can improve, change things and get better. If you want to add more discipline into your life, start with fitness – it’s the one area of life where you have 100% control.

Posted July 22, 2014 by dranilj1 in BODY_MIND_HEART_SPIRIT

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Understanding Your Brainsex

Brain Sex

If you’re a man, you may be more in touch with your feminine side than you ever guessed, and if you are woman you may occasionally think more like the lads. That is the surprising news from scientists who think there are ‘male brains’ and ‘female brains’. Study findings show that although men tend to have male brains and women tend to have female brains, it isn’t always so.

There is no real difference between men and women when it comes to total intelligence (IQ), but there is growing evidence that men and women’s brains are wired differently. The theory explains the finding that, on average, men are better at some things and women are better at others.

For example, women tend to be better at empathizing and men are generally better at systemizing. In other words, men are often more adept at discovering the rules that govern a system. They like to get deeply involved in activities such as car repair, computing or building up an extensive music collection. Women, on the other hand, are thought to be better at guessing other people’s emotions and responding appropriately. They would be more likely to comfort you in a time of crisis.

Men and women don’t always fit neatly into their respective groups. A University of Cambridge study found that 17% of men have a ‘female’ empathizing brain and 17% of women have a ‘male’ systemizing brain. The difference between men and women is not merely physical. It is neurological, too. Male and female human brains are wired differently, causing us to think, feel, react and respond in strikingly different ways.

This brain sex is a distinctive gender-based circuitry that determines how – and explains why – men and women respond so differently to the same emotional and situational triggers. An intriguing twist to this key to human behavior is that brain sex does not always match body sex. The brain circuits can be bi-wired, resulting in a blurring of conventional gender-assigned roles and responses, and explaining why traditional gender stereotyping doesn’t always fit. So we often use the term "brain based", because in the end it’s your brain that matters.

Understanding your own and other peoples’ brain sex is the secret to transforming your life. The brain sex matters from the boardroom to the bedroom and is an essential element to success in the classroom. Misunderstanding is the treacherous rock upon which human relationships most commonly created. Signals are misread; words are misinterpreted. Brain sex matters to establish marital harmony and knowledge with respect to brain sex can save relationship and give insight to aid development.

Posted June 26, 2014 by dranilj1 in and Nature

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Give Life Your Best Shot

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as capable as you have ever imagined. Your brain is a radio transmitter that broadcasts thoughts, directions and vibrations into your life; you get to choose the station it’s tuned to. Tune out negativity to make room for positivity. Walk away from the nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.

Don’t sit around feeling sorry about your circumstances or how others have treated you. Instead, take responsibility for your role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair. In the end, happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with problems. Look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. It is not what the world takes away from you that count; it is what you do with what you are left with that counts.

Happiness is a mindset of appreciation. Happiness doesn’t start when this, that or the other thing is resolved. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have. Comparison is the thief of happiness. Do your best and don’t compare your progress with that of others. They aren’t you. We all need our own time to travel our own distance and this is the truth that you have to live by.

Don’t grow envious or feel cheated when others achieve something they are trying to achieve. Instead, recognize that success comes with hard work, and be willing to work hard for your own chance at success. True confidence has no room for envy and resentment. When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.

Don’t view failures and delays as reasons to give up. Use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. Willingly keep trying until you get it right. Don’t expect immediate results. Apply your efforts and skills to the best of your ability and understand that real change takes time.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, both ways you are right. If you really want to do something, you can and you will find a way. If you don’t want t do, you will surely find a long list of excuses. Turn your “cants” into “cans” and your dreams into plans.

Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve. Stay emotionally strong. Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later. Good things don’t come to those who wait. Good things come to those who are patient while working hard for what they want most in life. If you know what you want, if you can see it, feel it and move toward it in some small way every single day, it has to happen. Be patient and keep working.

You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice. Accept responsibility for your behavior and learn from your past mistakes. Grow and move on to better decisions and new lessons.

Don’t try to avoid change. Instead, welcome positive change into life and be flexible. Change is inevitable; just have the ability to adapt. Change happens for a reason. Roll with it! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Just focus on what you can control in your life, and recognize that sometimes the only thing you can control is your attitude. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions.

Listen to your own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery. Don’t take things other people say about you too personally. What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you. You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is changing how you react and who you choose to be around.

See the good in others. The world is full of good people. Whoever says otherwise hasn’t looked around. So look around. Appreciate them. Connect and smile together. When you choose to see the good in others, you will find the good in yourself.

You don’t need to please everyone all the time. Be not afraid to say ‘no’ or speak up when necessary. Pleasing everyone is impossible. Separation from such people leads you to a more stable place in your life. Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over. It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t want, even if it means beginning anew. Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself. Time passes one way or the other. Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”

Posted June 16, 2014 by dranilj1 in Are you Smart?

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Faltering Lines and Insecure Distances

The inner life has its soft and gentle beauty; an abstract formlessness as well as a subtle charm like a figure in a foggy painting with faltering lines, insecure distances, and a merging of grey and black. An emotion or a mood is a mere wisp of color that is shaded off and made to spread until it becomes one with all that surrounds it.

Whatever we do not know, in order to conceal our limitations or hide our imperfections, we either say that it is non-existent or we will say it is an abstract. In the universe, whatever comes within the scope of our senses or within the periphery of our perception, we say, “It is,” and whatever is beyond the arena of the senses or jurisdiction of perception, we cannot say anything. Hence, our world functions within the limitations of our senses and perceptions.

In the realm of cosmic introvert or extrovert phase, “subtle” is transmuted into “crude”, and “crude” is metamorphosed into “subtle”. In this progress, there are subtler objects in the scope of matter – many objects subtler than electrons or protons or positrons, but we find no alternative but to say that they are either electron or proton or positron or neutron. Similarly in the psychic sphere, there may be entities subtler than ectoplasm or its extra-psychic coverage, endoplasm.

There are entities which come within the realm of both physicality and psychic expressions which are smaller or subtler than atoms, electrons or protons, and in the psychic realm may be subtler than ectoplasm. For such objects or entities which come within the realms both of physicality and of psychic expression and smaller and subtler than physical atoms and subatomic particles, and in the psychic realm they can be subtler than mind–stuff, and contribute to "pure consciousness."

They may not be of the same density or subtlety. Some of them may come within the range of a highly developed microscope; others, by their expression, faculty or vibrations come within the scope of our perception. They are of subtler order. There may be still more subtle forms which may not come directly within the scope of our perception but may come within the scope of a special type of perception which is actually the reflection of conception within the range of perception in a limited sphere.

Special perception may be felt or realized by persons having highly developed, spiritual minds. By dint of our spiritual practice, our minds will develop in all strata, and the power of conception will also develop and we can know the secrets of these mysterious cosmic factors.

Posted June 11, 2014 by dranilj1 in Introverts

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Ground Yourself

We change for two reasons, either we learn enough that we want to change, or we have been hurt enough that we have to change. Without healthy personal boundaries, we feel exhausted, is unable to focus, and feel consumed by drama around us, in both our personal and professional lives. As a result, we deal with lot of conflict, fail to take care of self, and generally dislike the work we like. When our boundaries are weak, unguarded, or unclear, we let in all sorts of stuff that isn’t actually our stuff, and we give away our own personal energy unconsciously.

Grounding is akin to the way a tree sinks roots to stay secure in a storm. It’s the first step in creating healthy boundaries—nurturing a connection with ourselves, our centers. It keeps us from being blown about in other people’s winds. It gives us a way to focus and still ourselves to connect with our heart and our intuition. That’s what keeps us steady and connected and focused. Take an inventory of your feelings regarding another person. Think about how you feel when you’re around someone who drains you and upsets you. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? These feeling that signify of something bigger, something that’s wrong. Bad feelings are like your personal security system warning that your personal energy field has been breached, and you’re letting in stuff that isn’t yours.

Notice the people and places that tend to drain you. Before entering those places or exposing yourself to those people put on a protective energy around you. Think of it as a space that will only allow love and positivity inside it, deflecting anything else. Really see it and really feel the force of it around you. Then recognize what you need to do to maintain that space.

Maintaining healthy boundaries with difficult people can be, well, difficult. That’s because they don’t want you to have boundaries in the first place. It may not be a conscious decision. It’s often the only relationship strategy they know, but regardless of whether it’s intentional, the result is the same–your boundary has been violated.

Realize that your needs are important. When you doubt your own importance, you’re allowing the manipulations of difficult people to gain a foothold. However, when you understand that your time, money, dignity and needs are vital to your well-being, it’s easier to tune out people who want to break your boundaries.

If you doubt your importance, be with people who value you. Your social group is like a mirror, reflecting your value back to you. You can surround yourself with selfish, difficult people who reflect you have little self-worth, which you eventually start to believe. You can surround yourself with caring, loving people and start believing that you’re also worthy of love and care. Build self-worth and pinpoint the obstacles that prevent you from valuing yourself. Be objective. Just being human means you deserve fundamental rights and respect, but if you look a little deeper you might find unique qualities you can appreciate about yourself. Be fair. If you believe all people deserve respect, this includes you. If you allow others to treat you like dirt, and you believe they’re entitled to do so, you’re not being fair.

Be firm and kind. Being firm doesn’t mean being callous, belittling or hurting another person. You can be firm and loving, firm and validating. For instance, you’ve gone on several dates with the same person, but you just don’t click. You let the person know, but they keep persisting and want to continue the relationship. Then you might say: “I really enjoyed our time but I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship. Please don’t contact me. I wish you the best.

Have realistic expectations. If you know the person is difficult for you to have a relationship with and doesn’t respect your boundaries, limit the amount of time or the place of your interaction so you can have healthy boundaries.

Many times, it is important to confront difficult people and put them in their place, but sometimes walking away is a better approach. It is like a tornado coming your way; rather than face it, the best response is to retreat. Some people are simply too toxic to confront.

How you approach your boundaries is up to you. Difficult people want you to believe that you’re over-reacting. Again, this is our decision – not the difficult person’s who’s trying to cross your boundary. Assess the situation and figure out how you’d like to enforce your limits. When difficult people violate your boundaries, use it as an opportunity to better understand who you are and what’s important to you, and to develop the voice to claim your territory and declare your value.

Posted June 10, 2014 by dranilj1 in COGNITION

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Does Time Management Exist!

Time Management

It is tough to manage my time when time doesn’t exist. Time is a measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists. Management is to exercise executive, administrative, and supervisory direction of something. Can you really manage time? Can you really oversee it and direct it? Can you stretch it or condense it? Can you change time in any way? What people mean when they say time management is better termed action management. We can manage a portfolio and grow it, manage our personal finances and alter them, hopefully for the better, or manage a sports team to win a championship, but no matter how hard we try, we cannot manage time and alter it or change it in any way. Each person only has 24 hours a day to get things done. Time available to us is fixed, how we use it makes the difference. I suppose someone influential coined the term “time management” and it has stuck. The point is still how we use the time available. Those who seem to get more things done simply better manage their own actions.

Good action is working on one thing at a time, bringing it to completion because completed projects rarely come back to haunt you. It feels great to complete a task and it motivates you to complete the next. It can have a snowball effect when you are lining up tasks and completing them. Also, lining up tasks by planning ahead is what separates a good manager from a great manager. Poor managers think they can multi-task, missing the opportunity to focus on anything. The concentration becomes diffused and ineffective. You can only have one top priority at a time. Good effective corrective and preventive action management is an integral part of life and is critical to any continual improvement plan. You should capture, track, and maintain accurate, auditable non-conformance records. You should provide an end-to-end solution that help capture and profile findings from anywhere in your operations, conduct investigations to determine the root cause of the issue, track the entire action management process, implement required changes, and ensure that the issue is resolved quickly and effectively. Good action managers have the self discipline to slow down when things seem to get crazy because rushing around usually results in poor performance. Poor managers actually speed up and they get less properly completed.

Have a passion for building relationships with teams by how you prioritize your activities and don’t let frivolous interruptions invade the processes. Poor managers cannot build great teams because they are constantly allowing interruptions to dictate their daily actions. You should set priorities that help achieve beneficial goals. Poor action is allowing whatever is happening at the moment to become top priority. Almost anything can grab your attention. Become an action manager rather than just a time manager. Work on one thing at a time, slow things down, build solid and trusting relationships, and set strong priorities. Know how you will behave in varying situations and what motivates you to act, identify the talent in you, and learn how to better communicate and make life much more enjoyable. Your life must focus on the maximization of objectivity. Wide diversification is only required when you do not understand what you are doing. It’s often said that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sir John Templeton’s famous take on this was “‘This time it’s different’ are the four most expensive words in the investing language”. We work really hard never to get confused with what we know from what we think or hope or wish.

It is a mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. Invest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth. Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent. When an investor focuses on short-term investments, he or she is observing the variability of the portfolio, not the returns – in short, being fooled by randomness.

Investment should start with a view of skepticism. You should become intellectual investor rather than emotional investor. You should be careful, and you should be skeptical. It’s one of the most important things at the end of the day, being able to say no to an investment. Value investing is risk aversion. You must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. All intelligent investing is value investing — acquiring more that you are paying for. It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows.

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