All for Love

Love is everywhere, not everyone recognizes this because we do not fully comprehend what love is. For some, love is an emotion shared between two individuals, involving a deep connection and intimacy. Ask someone to define what love is, and they will freeze, trying to come up with a coherent reply. In the end, they might just say it is something that cannot be truly defined. Even the most brilliant minds seem to have trouble assigning a proper and accurate definition for love.

Love has connections with our behavior and attitude, and since it is, at its core, an emotion, it can be studied subjectively and analyzed systematically. Love appears to be most profound and even mysterious emotion because of the broad and large area it encompasses.

John Allan Lee, a Canadian psychologist, came up with the Color Wheel Theory of Love. He introduced six major types of love, divided into two categories, namely, primary and secondary.

Primary types of love comprise love of beauty or erotic love, then we have ludic love where love is a game and the measure of victory is the number of partners one has. Third is storge love, like loving someone through the fondness of familiarity, family members or people who relate in familiar ways who have bonded by chance. For example, love between best friends and companions. It puts a high value on one’s loyalties, duties and responsibilities toward others. This is the peaceful and uncomplicated kind of love, no passionate heat involved, no tumultuous storm of feelings, no angst, and certainly no rollercoaster rides of emotions.

Secondary types of love involve manic love; this love is self-explanatory and the second is the most practical type of love called pragmatic love, which is very practical and mutually very beneficial, lastly we have agape love which is the purest form of love, derives its definition from being unselfish towards one’s partner. This love is willing to endure difficulty that arises from the partner’s circumstance with an unbreakable commitment and an unconditional, selfless love that is all giving. It is an undying love that is full of compassion and selflessness.

Posted May 26, 2017 by dranilj1 in BODY_MIND_HEART_SPIRIT

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Goals Without Plans Are Just Daydreams

Goals without plans are well-intentioned daydreams. Vision without execution is just a hallucination. To move from hallucination to reality requires execution. The answers to effective execution include clear plans, objectives, focus, motivated teamwork, and measurable intermediate milestones.

Execution starts with a plan. The plan sets the stage with strategy, lays out the objectives, then the required steps and actions to be carried out and the timeframe in which the actions should be accomplished. Like the vision, a plan needs to be clear. The plan needs to be as comprehensive as possible with an appreciation of the risks and challenges, and well thought out different plan for all the major risk points or hurdles. Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats analysis are the key preparation exercise heading into a planning process.

Once a clear executable plan is ready, the focus becomes paramount. Common techniques for maintaining focus are to enlist the key objectives and milestones. Milestones are important because we are far more willing to chase goals, to achieve results, and to make the sacrifices necessary to deliver the outcome when we understand why the goals matter. With shared sacrifice must come shared success and victory, and shared

Measurable intermediate milestones are crucial to maintaining focus and pace. Intermediate milestones give one a measuring stick and a goal toward which to sprint that is within easy sight and distance.

Posted May 3, 2017 by dranilj1 in Are you Smart?

Dealing Life Situations

We attain greatness by merits, not simply by taking up an exalted seat, so to be praised, do praiseworthy work. Befriend genuine people, not fools. Be prepared for the future and deal cleverly with any situation that may arise. Be pro-active and plan ahead when it comes to your work. Work is work and if that requires you to be shrewd with someone, so be it. If knowledge is confined to books you cannot use it when the need for it arises. Everyone likes a person who goes over and above the call of duty. Expand your horizon.

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected in all places. If you in truth want to impress, then you should get expertise in your area of work. That will be the only way you will learn. Speak what would please the man of whom you expect a favor. This does not mean that you need to blindly follow. You should value others opinion and respect others for what they are. There is self-interest behind every friendship. So, even though you might be surrounded by lovely people, keep your attention only on work. You are appreciated when you draw the line between personal and professional life.

If you do not learn anything new from time to time, then you indeed are a failure. If you are doing good work, keep it to yourself rather than mouthing it to everyone. Everyone will appreciate honesty. Those who speak of the secret faults of others will destroy themselves. Instead of bringing others down, aim to go higher up yourself.

Straight trees are cut down while crooked ones are left standing. This does not mean that you should turn crooked to get your work done, but do not get lost in the crowd. Stand up for yourself. No matter what your job profile is, do not be afraid of taking up a new project. People will appreciate a person who goes beyond his line of duty.

Never share your secrets with anybody. If you are entrusted with some secrets, do not spill the beans. Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions: why I am doing it, what the results might be and will I be successful? This means that always think through before taking up a new project. Do not follow things blindly. Once you start working on something, do not be afraid of failure.

Posted May 2, 2017 by dranilj1 in Are you Smart?

Galvanize You Destiny

I am always the creator of my thoughts and actions. Regardless of the experience happening around me, how I respond, how I choose to perceive that experience is always my choice. I create the experience of my reality each and every minute. We create our own reality. What we dwell upon we become. What our mind dwells on intensely and with firm resolve, that is exactly what we become. We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are. We become what we think about all day long. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.

The entire point of our existence on this planet has become merely fulfilling our own personal desires and having all that we could ever want. Change your thoughts and you change your world. We are creating our life with the energy of our own intentions. Much of what happens in our lives is indeed the creation of our own minds. Our unconscious mind largely shapes the experiences of our world. All judgments and perceptions reflect the workings of our mind on two levels: The conscious, of which we are aware, and the unconscious, which is hidden from us. We are not like computers that crunch data in a relatively straightforward manner and calculate results. The real reasons behind our judgments, feelings and behaviors can surprise us. Our brains are in the business of gathering information and steering behavior appropriately. It doesn’t matter whether consciousness is involved in our decision making, and most of the time, it is not. Whether we are talking about dilated eyes, jealously, attraction, the love of foods, consciousness is the smallest player in the operations of the brain. Our brains run mostly on autopilot, and the conscious mind has little access to the giant and mysterious factory that runs below it.

I am exhilarated by the realization that I could change the character of my life by changing my beliefs. I am energized because I realized that there is a science-based path that would take me from being a constant victim of my destiny to the cofounder of my destiny.

Posted May 1, 2017 by dranilj1 in COGNITION

By Deceiving Others, We Deceive Ourselves

We mislead ourselves all day long. Such self-serving biases we undertake to cheat ourselves in order to mislead others and construct social advantage. Psychologists have identified several ways of fooling ourselves like biased information-gathering, biased reasoning and biased recollections. We seek information only that supports what we want to believe and avoid that which we do not.

One of the most common types of self-deception is self-enhancement. We overestimate our good qualities because it makes us feel good. Self-enhancement boosts motivation, leading to greater accomplishment. If getting motivated is our goal, then we could do that without reality distortion. Self-deception has evolved for the purpose of other deception.

Overconfidence about one’s self intelligence neither leads to better mental health or academic performance, but self-deception begets social advantage. Most of us see good self-esteem and enhanced motivation is a reason enough for self-enhancement to evolve. In the long run overconfidence may backfire.

It is not that there is one part of us deliberately fooling another part of us that is the “self.” If you need to convince somebody of something, if your career or social success depends on persuasion, then the first person who needs to be convinced is yourself. On the defensive side, whenever anyone tries to convince you of something, think about what might be motivating that person. Even if he is not lying to you, he may be deceiving both you and himself.

Posted April 5, 2017 by dranilj1 in Cognitive Biases

Secrecy, In Fact, Is Our Only Salvation

Don’t whine about life. Accept where you are, the people around you, and the events of your life as divine gifts. You are where you should be, in the era and society that is best for you, chosen by the Divine. The spiritual part of a human being is like tuning fork; it vibrates to truth as a tuning fork vibrates when its pitch is played close to it. Trust that God put you where you are, when you are, and with whom you are, for a reason. Believe that there is a plan, that your life is not random, that it matters where you are, when you are, and with whom you are. Recognize that because it was God who decided these things for you, you have a purpose to fulfill or a special accomplishment to achieve that can be done only because you are where you are when you are, and with whom you are. I am a very religious man and believe in predetermination; that our lives are guided by the God who has a plan for every human. Trust your first instinct, do not try to change who you are, do not try to change the people around you, and accept your fate. There exists one’s true self, buried beneath the false image we try to convey to other people. Peel that false image away, and we are all the same at the core. Society is always moving forward against chaos and darkness. You cannot just expect to learn self-reliance in one day and without self-reliance, you will not get very far. Any work done in God’s name does the greatest good. No work can be accomplished without the help of others. Believe in your work and ignore the criticism of others. Every heart vibrates as its own guidance, not the direction of others.

We can talk about our troubles to those who can give us direct help, but even in this case, we must come to a carefully thought out conclusion before the consultation. We have to be perfectly clear to ourselves about our own limitations. Most of us have a foolish trick of applying for help before they have done anything whatever to aid themselves. We try to talk to our self into clearness of insight and intelligibility. The only way such people can think is by talking and their speech consequently is not the expression of an opinion clearly thought and formed, but a manufacture of it. One should be very careful when we speak about our pained emotions. The expression is apt to carry with it exaggeration. By being reserved, we are able to attach less importance to that which is not worthwhile to mention to others; therefore, secrecy, in fact, is our only salvation. Keeping one’s problem to oneself will lessen the severity of its impact on us.

Success is Not Measured by Results

As we get educated, we realize that jealousy is ignorance and any sort of imitation is suicide. We come to the understanding that for better or worse even though the world is full of good, picking someone’s knowledge and understanding will leave us dissatisfied. We have to do our own internal work. Don’t rely on an earthly authority or society to tell you what is right for you to do. Your destiny is unique to you. The power in you is new, and no one but you know what you can do, and one will not know what one is endowed innately until one has tried. Each of us has been made the way we are so that we can see our own truth. Each of us will receive the truth that is right for us. Do not strive for perfection. Let us only try to commit all our effort and attention to the goals we are trying to accomplish. Genuinely, put time, hard work, and dedication into your craft, whatever task you are doing. It does not matter how minuscule the task is, do it with all your effort. Success is not measured by results. Success is you attempting something with intentions of doing your best. This is something that we continually should try to live by.

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