Constructive Revenge

Stay right when you’re wronged. We feel by meting out pain to this person, we’ll make ourselves feel better. This make our sick-mind feel better for a little while, it will not in the long run. Bad things usually follow. After the dust settles, you feel bad inside.

We all want to exert revenge when we are wronged. Revenge is a strong urge, but we do not feel better if we act on it. Knowledge about emotions and the thoughts that strengthen or soften emotions can help people develop ways to better manage their actions.

Revenge seems to be one of the deepest instincts we have. Our intuitive logic about revenge is often twisted, conflicted, parochial, and dangerous. Revenge is a primitive, destructive, and violent response to anger, injury, or humiliation. It is a misguided attempt to transform shame into pride. The only way is rise above revenge and let it go.

Revenge is the dark side of reciprocity. Revenge originates from the primal need for self-defense. Exhaust all alternatives before considering revenge, and use revenge only if it is your only effective self-defense.

When you seek revenge, you hurt yourself equally, if not more. Most strategies for revenge fail because they attempt to change the past. Unfortunately, once the damage is done and the injury, insult, humiliation, or other loss occurs, the clock cannot be turned back and the loss is permanent. Successful strategies for revenge look far into the future and recognize that the cycle of vengeance and retaliation can only spiral toward tragedy and are best stopped before they are started.

Living well is the best type of revenge. Showing the other person that his negative actions did not efface you will infuriate him. The goal of revenge is to erase shame and humiliation and restore pride. Our goal is to forgive and move on. Each side feels they have the most valid claim to being the victim. It is rarely clear who started this. If you concentrate on revenge, you will keep those wounds fresh that would have otherwise healed.

The best revenge is just moving on and getting over it. Don’t give someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer. We are the only people we can control, we cannot control others. By engaging in this type of behavior, you are actually planning a long-term destruction of your life, since misery is your constant companion. You need to move forward, not focus on the past. There is no revenge as complete as forgiveness. Revenge of any sort is extremely toxic.

Do not lower yourself to someone else’s level because then you become just as bad as they are. When people seek out revenge, it tends to consume them entirely. Some people take it way too far and it is hard to control yourself once you get going. Understanding what can trigger our urge to seek revenge, and how we can resolve our concerns constructively helps us to cope with our feelings.

The ultimate revenge is living well and being happy. Hateful people can’t stand happy people. If you really think about revenge, why do you even need revenge? You can get past anything someone did to offend you without revenge. You do not need any sort of interaction with these people. Distance yourself and never let them see you suffer.

What goes around, most definitely will come back around. Remove yourself from the cycle of bad behavior. Patience is a virtue in this situation. Decide to better yourself to clearly demonstrate your stature is superior to your adversary’s.

Cuddling

 

COUPLE-CUDDLE


Why women want to cuddle after sex? After sex, women are high on endorphins and want to savor the buzz by feeling man’s body against hers. Women like to make eye contact and stay close after the deed is done. Women need the intimacy of post-coital connection. Women like to gaze into a man’s eyes. Post-sex affection has a big impact on sexual satisfaction and relationship with their partners.

The post-sex affection like kissing, caressing and love-talk have long-lasting effects like higher levels of satisfaction with sex lives and relationships. Post-sex affection promotes bonding and sexual satisfaction. Time spent cuddling after sex has a strong impact on relationship. Bonding time after sex is important for those who face challenges finding time for intimate connection.

Men and women enjoy sex and intimacy in different ways. There is lot of culture and socialization here. For women, sex and intimacy tend to be intertwined in an obligatory way because women often feel unconsciously guilty about having more sexual pleasure and fun than their mothers. After sex, women need the reassurance that they, themselves, haven’t abandoned themselves to it for its pleasure.

Before you doze off, wrap your arms around her and let her feel your breath on her neck. Whisper something nice. As your breathing turns to snuffles, she will imagine you are breathing out her essential beauty. Let her think that way as you drift off to sleep.

It is ridiculous for women to claim that separating sex and intimacy is inherently degrading. It is also ridiculous for men to claim that a woman’s need for intimate connection during and after sex is a type of burdensome dependency need. Intimacy can enhance pleasure or detract from pleasure. Objectification can be a springboard to intense pleasure or an obstacle to pleasure. Drawing a line of demarcation about what is healthy or not when it comes to love and sex is dangerous and typically serves neurotic purposes. We should all just get over it.

Posted February 4, 2015 by dranilj1 in HEALTHY LIVING

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2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here's an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 32,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 12 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted January 27, 2015 by dranilj1 in Landscape

Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Real, Connected and Vulnerable

Marriage is for life. Man and woman joined in wedding are the fortunate one working together in God’s resolve that life should go on. God joins both the life-giving and love-giving aspects of man and woman’s sexuality into one reality in marriage. What God has joined man must not divide, therefore love and life in matrimony must not be alienated. The two have been brought together as one gift by God.

God is love and love’s greatest expression is in the child born of a virtuous, whole family. Family is the base of civilization. Broken families have really no good taste, etiquette, or education and are violent. The family unit is the origin of humanity itself. The Holy Trinity is woman, man, and baby. We as a society, of any race, need to rebuild the community and indeed heal the world as a whole by rebuilding the family unit, giving our children, mothers and fathers who stay together in dedicated, genuine relationships.

Now it is acceptable and even preferred by some to be the "side chick", "side piece" or tolerate "open relationships", promiscuity, and noncommittal sexual unions. This destroys human divinity and is not in God’s vision of whole and supreme love. Children are broken when their parenthood is broken.

It is a prayer that we be wise and desire wholeness for ourselves and our progeny. Woman’s highest blessing is to love and live justly. Her greatest role is The Great Mother. She desires to manifest love in the world in all forms, not merely romantic, sexual love, as is commonly and erroneously believed. Woman creates romantic love to open the way for real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.

Posted October 20, 2014 by dranilj1 in Art of Living

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Effects of Exercise

The Best Way Out is Always Through

Immediate Effects of Exercise on Blood Pressure is to rise it during exercise.  Regular physical activity makes the heart stronger, and more efficient. As the heart becomes more efficient, it becomes more able to pump greater amounts of blood with less effort. As a result, the heart does not need to beat as quickly to deliver blood to the body. Since the heart is pumping slower, it is also placing less stress and pressure on the arteries. After several weeks or months of regular exercise, most people should notice a decrease in resting pulse and blood pressure. For this reason, regular exercise as a drug-free approach to treating high hypertension is recommended.

Although regular exercise has a long-term effect on blood pressure and pulse, these beneficial effects require a continued exercise program. The benefits last only as long as you continue to exercise. Before initiating any type of regular exercise routine, consult your doctor to ensure your utmost health and safety.

Fitness is the best discipline training method on earth. If you want to build more discipline into your life, try becoming more fit. If you struggle with being disorganized or unfocused, try working out more, or doing something physical that has to do with your fitness. You’ll find those experiences are the best discipline training methods on earth.

When you are in a solid workout routine – everything falls into place.  The beauty of fitness is the simplicity.  In contrast to all the stuff out there trying to complicate things and telling you all the stuff you need to have to get fit, there’s only two main components to fitness: Diet & Exercise.  Diet = What You Put In Your Body.  Exercise = What You Do With Your Body.

You have complete control over each of those components.   You can get in incredible shape with a jump rope and a pull up bar and bodyweight exercises. 

When it comes to things like running your business, getting organized or simply getting over mental barriers, it’s easy to have other things come in the way and blame them. Bureaucracy, other people, regulations, imagined problems, timelines, and other things you can’t always control. But, when it comes to Diet & Exercise: What you put in your body and what you do with it , you absolutely control it. With a 100% accuracy, you’re able to control what you put in your body and what you do with it – no matter what. In every other aspect of life, there might be variables, but if discipline is defined as training to improve a skill, then fitness is the one thing you have complete control of if you want to. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

Fitness is measurable. There are metrics. You know whether you’re getting better, faster, stronger or if you’re going in the other direction. The iron never lies. Fitness is measurable. Fitness is a physical activity. It moves you from thinking to doing. It’s physical activity that forces you to push your physical limits, so you can push your mental ones too. Fitness is physical.  Fitness is a choice every day. It can take 8 weeks to get into shape and only 2 to lose it all. Every day, you choose to either get more or less fit by the choices you make. There is no pause, coast or cruise control. Fitness is a daily discipline.

The default state for everything is stagnation. If you’re not working to improve your fitness daily, it will automatically start deteriorating. Fitness is constant improvement.  Fitness often reflects how you live the rest of your life. If you’re waking up at 5 AM, getting your workout in, going for a run and taking a cold shower to start the day, it’s hard to want to slack off the rest of the day. Even if you do – you have a head start on everybody else because you’ve been working for 2 hours by the time everyone else gets up. If you find your fitness regimen disorganized, you’ll tend to find other aspects of life – your business, your social and even your physical stuff  – disorganized.  Fitness reflects your life.

If you put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. Being ruthless with your physical limits and your fitness specifically  opens up windows into other parts of your life where you can improve, change things and get better. If you want to add more discipline into your life, start with fitness – it’s the one area of life where you have 100% control.

Posted July 22, 2014 by dranilj1 in BODY_MIND_HEART_SPIRIT

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Understanding Your Brainsex

Brain Sex

If you’re a man, you may be more in touch with your feminine side than you ever guessed, and if you are woman you may occasionally think more like the lads. That is the surprising news from scientists who think there are ‘male brains’ and ‘female brains’. Study findings show that although men tend to have male brains and women tend to have female brains, it isn’t always so.

There is no real difference between men and women when it comes to total intelligence (IQ), but there is growing evidence that men and women’s brains are wired differently. The theory explains the finding that, on average, men are better at some things and women are better at others.

For example, women tend to be better at empathizing and men are generally better at systemizing. In other words, men are often more adept at discovering the rules that govern a system. They like to get deeply involved in activities such as car repair, computing or building up an extensive music collection. Women, on the other hand, are thought to be better at guessing other people’s emotions and responding appropriately. They would be more likely to comfort you in a time of crisis.

Men and women don’t always fit neatly into their respective groups. A University of Cambridge study found that 17% of men have a ‘female’ empathizing brain and 17% of women have a ‘male’ systemizing brain. The difference between men and women is not merely physical. It is neurological, too. Male and female human brains are wired differently, causing us to think, feel, react and respond in strikingly different ways.

This brain sex is a distinctive gender-based circuitry that determines how – and explains why – men and women respond so differently to the same emotional and situational triggers. An intriguing twist to this key to human behavior is that brain sex does not always match body sex. The brain circuits can be bi-wired, resulting in a blurring of conventional gender-assigned roles and responses, and explaining why traditional gender stereotyping doesn’t always fit. So we often use the term "brain based", because in the end it’s your brain that matters.

Understanding your own and other peoples’ brain sex is the secret to transforming your life. The brain sex matters from the boardroom to the bedroom and is an essential element to success in the classroom. Misunderstanding is the treacherous rock upon which human relationships most commonly created. Signals are misread; words are misinterpreted. Brain sex matters to establish marital harmony and knowledge with respect to brain sex can save relationship and give insight to aid development.

Posted June 26, 2014 by dranilj1 in and Nature

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Give Life Your Best Shot

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as capable as you have ever imagined. Your brain is a radio transmitter that broadcasts thoughts, directions and vibrations into your life; you get to choose the station it’s tuned to. Tune out negativity to make room for positivity. Walk away from the nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.

Don’t sit around feeling sorry about your circumstances or how others have treated you. Instead, take responsibility for your role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair. In the end, happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with problems. Look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. It is not what the world takes away from you that count; it is what you do with what you are left with that counts.

Happiness is a mindset of appreciation. Happiness doesn’t start when this, that or the other thing is resolved. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have. Comparison is the thief of happiness. Do your best and don’t compare your progress with that of others. They aren’t you. We all need our own time to travel our own distance and this is the truth that you have to live by.

Don’t grow envious or feel cheated when others achieve something they are trying to achieve. Instead, recognize that success comes with hard work, and be willing to work hard for your own chance at success. True confidence has no room for envy and resentment. When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.

Don’t view failures and delays as reasons to give up. Use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. Willingly keep trying until you get it right. Don’t expect immediate results. Apply your efforts and skills to the best of your ability and understand that real change takes time.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, both ways you are right. If you really want to do something, you can and you will find a way. If you don’t want t do, you will surely find a long list of excuses. Turn your “cants” into “cans” and your dreams into plans.

Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve. Stay emotionally strong. Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later. Good things don’t come to those who wait. Good things come to those who are patient while working hard for what they want most in life. If you know what you want, if you can see it, feel it and move toward it in some small way every single day, it has to happen. Be patient and keep working.

You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice. Accept responsibility for your behavior and learn from your past mistakes. Grow and move on to better decisions and new lessons.

Don’t try to avoid change. Instead, welcome positive change into life and be flexible. Change is inevitable; just have the ability to adapt. Change happens for a reason. Roll with it! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Just focus on what you can control in your life, and recognize that sometimes the only thing you can control is your attitude. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions.

Listen to your own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery. Don’t take things other people say about you too personally. What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you. You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is changing how you react and who you choose to be around.

See the good in others. The world is full of good people. Whoever says otherwise hasn’t looked around. So look around. Appreciate them. Connect and smile together. When you choose to see the good in others, you will find the good in yourself.

You don’t need to please everyone all the time. Be not afraid to say ‘no’ or speak up when necessary. Pleasing everyone is impossible. Separation from such people leads you to a more stable place in your life. Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over. It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t want, even if it means beginning anew. Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself. Time passes one way or the other. Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”

Posted June 16, 2014 by dranilj1 in Are you Smart?

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