Our minds wander, on average 50 percent of the time. Noticing where your mind has gone disengages your brain from where it has wandered and activates brain circuits that can help your attention get unstuck and return to the work at hand. A simple mental exercise such as watching your breath, noticing when your mind has wandered off, letting go of the wandering thought and bringing it back to your breath again acts like a mental workout; the equivalent of repetitions in lifting free weights: Every repetition strengthens the muscle a bit more. In mindfulness what gets stronger are the brain’s circuits for noticing when your mind has wandered, letting go, and returning to your chosen focus. That is just what we need to stay with during that one important task we are working on.
This performance is amazing, astonishing, astounding, awesome, exceptional, extraordinary, sensational, stunning, stupendous, fantastic, fabulous, terrific, tremendous, marvelous, magnificent, mind-blowing, unbelievable, unprecedented, unusual and phenomenal, remarkable, incredibly wonderful, and outstanding!
Babies don’t worry about making mistakes or humble themselves. They walk, they fall, and they get up and go. As you approach a challenge, you might question your ability to do it. You might think you don’t have the talent to meet that challenge. Then there is lingering question, what if I fail—I will be a failure. People will laugh at me for thinking I had talent to handle the challenge. If I don’t try, I can protect myself and keep my dignity.
As you hit a setback, you might feel that this would have been very easy if you really had talent. You sensed the risk and have shown people how limited you are. You can give up, make excuses, and could have regained self-respect. As you face criticism, hear the criticism and take responsibility to fix it. Listen to criticism though it is very painful and find out whatever you can.
How you understand challenges, setbacks, and criticism is your choice. You can interpret them as a sign that you lack talent or ability. You can also interpret them as a sign that you need to rise up your strategies and effort, stretch yourself, and expand your abilities. It’s up to you to choose.
Over time, what course of action you take becomes your natural choice. You will take on the challenge wholeheartedly and learn from your setbacks and try again. Practice seeing both sides of a challenge, and act with a growth mindset.
We enjoy comparison. It is a personality flaw hidden deep in our heart. We compare using diverse metrics: Job title, income level, house size, and worldly successes. Using relativity is how most of us make decisions in life. Once we start down that road of comparison, there is no end. Comparison is always unfair. It makes us miserable because of resentment and envy. We are too unique to compare fairly. Comparisons result in bitterness; bitterness towards others and towards ourselves and rob us of joy.
It’s easy to see the success of others as a reminder of your own shortcomings, but your envy is really a window into seeing what qualities you should improve upon. Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. You have no idea what it took for them to get there. Don’t act like this was unearned, effortless, or pure dumb luck. Comparison can be a dark, stuck place, but only if you allow it to be. There is light to be found in your comparison habit, if you’re willing to look for it. The light we see in others can help us see our own and appreciate it.
No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you. So, instead of training to stop comparing altogether, we can simply redirect the comparison to a past and a present self and keep the comparison within. Comparing ourselves with someone else is an inaccurate and inappropriate measuring stick. To deal this it is recommended we control the circles in which we compare ourselves. You consciously move away from people who boast of their big salaries and talk with someone else instead. When spending or purchasing, consciously only view things that are truly within your budget.
If we do move up the ranks, it is clear that we will only stay satisfied with this higher standard of living for a short period of time before we restart looking to an even higher standard. The more we have, the more we want. If you took the strengths of others, and compared them to your weaknesses, how do you think you’d size up? Do you think this would make you feel good? Being able to look at your own strengths, and see your true value is the key to success, because without this ability, you will be unmotivated, and won’t believe in yourself. The only cure for this is to break the cycle of comparison.
Ignore Negativity and Live In Peace. We Live in Dual Reality: One, objective reality over which we have put up a second layer of the reality made of fictional entities: Fictional Reality!
Your body needs time to heal after cesarean section. You need at least 10 weeks of rest before you can resume sexual activities. Cervix needs time to close any tears and repaired cuts to heal, and for the post-delivery bleeding to stop. You have to wait before having sex if you feel like doing it. Factors that can cause delay in resuming sex life include fatigue, fear of pain and stress of the operation.
After undergoing a cesarean section, it is required that you wait for 10 weeks before having sexual intercourse. It is best practice to wait until your doctor examines you to assess how well the incision and the healing process have occurred. It is very important for the post-delivery bleeding and pain to stop before you can go ahead and have intercourse.
You will have some pain during sex after cesarean section. Some women will have pain even after the doctor gives a clean chit. The type of pain mostly experienced by women during sex after cesarean section is a burning sensation than a stretching pain. Most women feel that the pain is due to abnormality in the vaginal path; however, if there were any abnormalities, the doctor will pick it up during the examination.
Women who have had cesarean sections for more than one child complain of painful sex each time they resume the activity; however, the pain ends after a few repetitions. Using lubrication will ease the pain and uneasiness. If you happen to feel the discomfort and pain during sex, you have to ask your husband to wait until you are ready. Once the pain stops, you will be able to enjoy sex again. On the other hand, if you feel that the pain is too much to bear, you can consider holding out for a much longer time without sex. This gives your body more time to heal appropriately. After a few weeks, you will be able to enjoy sex without the pain.
Before resuming sex with your wife, it is very important to find out how she feels about things. Does she feel physically, emotionally, psychologically ready to resume lovemaking? Giving birth and caring for a new baby are huge, exhausting life events. In addition to healing from the cesarean section, hormone shifts and sleep deprivation in the weeks after birth are important factors. Have a frank conversation with your wife to find out how she’s feeling about resuming intercourse with you. This is where negotiating and finding common ground are very important. There are ways to ensure that mans needs are taken care of, if not by your wife, then by yourself. Wife also has needs, and the new baby certainly has needs, so if wife cannot meet husband’s needs at this time, then it is important to take care of yourself. Hopefully, this leaves you with the "relief" you need so that you and your wife can love and be tender with each other as partners and as parents.
Start with the positions you find most comfortable. For example, side by side would be a good idea. This will put the least pressure on your abdomen, which is where the incision is done. The abdomen remains painful for a while and you are advised to put the least pressure on the abdomen. As you recover, you can try out other positions. Ask your husband to be careful not to blow air into your vagina as it can enter the bloodstream, and this can be dangerous.