Breathe in the mountain air and gaze out over expansive grounds glistening and dewy from the sunrise. Observe silence during breakfast hours. How one can manage with our friends together without talking and laughing … impossible! We might not make it through the next 15 minutes. We work around noise all day. Isn’t silence what we want? Why do we always have to talk anyway?
Hold the food on tongue a bit longer and notice the flavors in a refreshing way. During this time don’t converse, read or watch TV. You can feel the textures and the tastes fill the taste buds. Silence overflows from body, mind and soul as if it were always there; as if it was always your way of being. Just notice the view of the sky, mountains and valleys, our own mind-chatter and to-do lists rest blissfully now. Pure silence while eating with friends feels amazing. Many feel discomfort in silence, especially when with friends.
I wonder what we are all always chatting about! What level of our most authentic selves is being covered up because we so rarely sit together in silence? What levels of anxiety are we frequently releasing and soothing, back and forth, among one another? Which silly jokes can go left unsaid here and there to let in a little more truth in silence?
By sitting in silence, alone or with others, we give the brain a rest and allow our deepest selves to just be. We move and behave differently in the world when we are coming from a place of simply being. We are scared of the feelings that come up in silence. We feel uncomfortable in our insecurities and our fears. We live in a society filled with distractions to choose from. Happy thoughts fill us in silence. Sadness, nervousness and fear also fill us in silence. When we sit as conscious observers of our own feelings, we are allowing our whole selves to just be, without judgment. We are awake and peaceful. Tranquility fills us in silence. Enter the silence of your deepest self and truest self will ease into you.
To feel wholeness and connectedness from silence, choose one meal a day that you will eat in complete silence, without any distractions. Allow thoughts, to-do lists and feelings to pass by like logs floating away, down a river. Simply observe what comes up and allow it to pass on by. Plan to walk in silence from one point to another, and then back again. Observe any uncomfortable feelings that emerge, and observe how you feel once you have eased into your own silence.
When something really exciting or positive happens in life or work, stay in that place of blissful silence before telling others about it. Stay with the feelings you have about this positive occurrence. Bring your happy energy into your day, knowing you will tell the good news once you are ready. Observe when you are eating, shopping, watching TV or engaging in other behaviors for the purpose of distraction. Be the compassionate mother to yourself, and allow all of your feelings to be without judgment.
How many of us, dream of being happily taken someday? Oops, I think I see most of your hands in the air! Unless you’re not eyeing marriage, you probably longed for that one girl who is willing to stay by your side no matter how annoyingly cute you get. Take it or leave it – we all have secret fantasies of being swooned over head over heels by the angel of our dreams, living happily ever after forevermore.
We have our own arsenal of techniques, strategies, game plans in hooking up with Miss Perfect. We’ve tried good old flirting, ranging from mild to ultra-hot, but we wonder why girls don’t take the bait. We’ve tried straightforward approaches, which makes girls either scramble toward us, or run away from us. We’ve tried taking things into our own hands, and women shake their head in despair. What will make women take us seriously?
Yes, it may be true that social status, professional acclaims and financial health attracts women at the onset of most encounters. But what makes them linger? What makes them think about getting to know men deeper, and not just as bed-warmers? It is the inside appearance that matters – that means, the happiness, confidence, and inner peace we exude. How did I come to know of these things? I am speaking from personal experiences.
I realized that when my desire for romance took the forefront of my life, to the detriment of other aspects of myself, it was then that opportunities for real love eluded me all the more, and I would attract gals who are somehow similar to me – rich, lonely, and with swagger attitude. I was crushed many times over by heartbreaks that I unknowingly allowed. Somehow, my hope as a hopeless romantic sailed me through these hard times, and I was back on my feet in no time, ready to jump at my chance for everlasting happiness. Or so I thought, because I have anchored my happiness yet again to the presence of romance in my life. That is not only unattractive to women who may be considered of the good kind, but this arrogant attitude attracts needy women, which is not helpful at all in building a healthy kind of love, only a false sense of security.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that it was not my fashion sense, nor my swagger attitude, nor my money that somehow prevented me to attract the good gals: it was the mindset. When I let go of romance as a super priority in my life, because I was happy nevertheless whether I had a girlfriend or not, that was attractive to good women. Happiness, true and sincere, is the greatest pheromone that will help you snag a great Girl. When good girl look at you and see you oh-so-happy, busying yourself with worthwhile things, and not moping around the lack of someone special, they will hover over you like butterflies and bees to a rose plant. The good thing is, the gals you attract are no longer the sad and bitter ones; they are the happy, peaceful gals as well, who exude a lot of confidence on what they have to offer. They are happy to get to know you, because at the back of their minds they know that they can make you happy. Their ‘job’ is halfway done; you’re happy all by yourself to begin with! What a great deal you’re getting yourself if you simply choose to be happy about life!
Simply put, being happy about life led me to my first and last love and romance. Dear men, I hope I have inspired you enough to simply be happy about living!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 27,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals
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