Archive for the ‘Emotion’ Tag




Why women want to cuddle after sex? After sex, women are high on endorphins and want to savor the buzz by feeling man’s body against hers. Women like to make eye contact and stay close after the deed is done. Women need the intimacy of post-coital connection. Women like to gaze into a man’s eyes. Post-sex affection has a big impact on sexual satisfaction and relationship with their partners.

The post-sex affection like kissing, caressing and love-talk have long-lasting effects like higher levels of satisfaction with sex lives and relationships. Post-sex affection promotes bonding and sexual satisfaction. Time spent cuddling after sex has a strong impact on relationship. Bonding time after sex is important for those who face challenges finding time for intimate connection.

Men and women enjoy sex and intimacy in different ways. There is lot of culture and socialization here. For women, sex and intimacy tend to be intertwined in an obligatory way because women often feel unconsciously guilty about having more sexual pleasure and fun than their mothers. After sex, women need the reassurance that they, themselves, haven’t abandoned themselves to it for its pleasure.

Before you doze off, wrap your arms around her and let her feel your breath on her neck. Whisper something nice. As your breathing turns to snuffles, she will imagine you are breathing out her essential beauty. Let her think that way as you drift off to sleep.

It is ridiculous for women to claim that separating sex and intimacy is inherently degrading. It is also ridiculous for men to claim that a woman’s need for intimate connection during and after sex is a type of burdensome dependency need. Intimacy can enhance pleasure or detract from pleasure. Objectification can be a springboard to intense pleasure or an obstacle to pleasure. Drawing a line of demarcation about what is healthy or not when it comes to love and sex is dangerous and typically serves neurotic purposes. We should all just get over it.


Posted February 4, 2015 by dranilj1 in HEALTHY LIVING

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Practical Intelligence

President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I think he was right, actually. Fear of fear probably causes more problems in life than fear. That claim needs a bit of explaining. Fear has a bad reputation among most human beings. Fear is not nearly as complicated as we try to make it. A simple and useful definition of fear can be an anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or experience.

Medical experts tell that the anxious feeling we get when we are afraid is a standardized biological reaction. It is pretty much the same set of body signals, whether we are afraid of getting bitten by a dog, getting turned down for a date, or getting our taxes audited. Fear, like all other emotions, is basically information. It offers us knowledge and understanding if we choose to accept it of our psychobiological status.

There are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other so-called fears are manufactured. Those five basic fears are extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and ego-death.

Think about the various common labels we put on our fears. Start with the easy ones: fear of heights or falling is basically fear of extinction, possibly accompanied by significant mutilation, but that is sort of secondary. Fear of failure? Read it as fear of ego-death. Fear of rejection? It is fear of separation, and probably also fear of ego-death. The terror many people have at the idea of having to speak in public is basically fear of ego-death. Fear of intimacy or fear of commitment is basically fear of losing one’s autonomy.

Some other emotions we know by various popular names are also expressions of these primary fears. If you track them down to their most basic levels, the basic fears show through. Jealousy, for example, is an expression of the fear of separation, or devaluation. At the extreme, it can express the fear of ego-death. Envy works the same way. Shame and guilt express the fear or the actual condition of separation and even ego-death. The same is true for embarrassment and humiliation.

Fear is often the base emotion on which anger floats. Oppressed peoples rage against their oppressors because they fear or actually experience loss of autonomy and even ego-death. The destruction of a culture or a religion by an invading occupier may be experienced as a kind of collective ego-death. Those who make us fearful will also make us angry.

Religious bigotry and intolerance may express the fear of ego-death on a cosmic level, and can even extend to existential anxiety. Some of our fears, of course, have basic survival value. Others, however, are learned reflexes that can be weakened or re-learned.

That strange idea of "fearing our fears" can become less strange when we realize that many of our avoidance reactions like turning down an invitation to a party if we tend to be uncomfortable in groups; putting off the doctor’s appointment; or not asking for the raise are instant reflexes that are reactions to the memories of fear. They happen so quickly that we don’t actually experience the full effect of the fear. We experience a micro-fear; a reaction that is a kind of shorthand code for the real fear. This reflex reaction has the same effect of causing us to evade and avoid as the real fear. This is why it is fairly accurate to say that many of our so-called fear reactions are actually the fears of fears.

When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within us – the Freudian motif – and begin to see fear and its companion emotions as basically information, we can think about them consciously. More clearly and calmly we can articulate the origins of the fear, the less our fears frighten us and control us.

Emotional and Physical Distress Cured with New Endorphinergic Formulation

Specific biochemical imbalance in the endorphin system, the stress center of the brain and gut, underlie the emotional and physical distress experienced by millions of sufferers of a wide variety of clinical conditions. The Endorphinergic Distress Syndrome is responsible, in part, for chronic anxiety, anger, depression, cravings, and pain hypersensitivity.

The endogenous opioid system has generally been associated with regulation of pain. Endogenous opioid system also modulates the experience of distress and play a central role in many psychiatric and neurodevelopmental disorders. Decades of preclinical research on the analgesic effects of endogenous opioids, like, endorphins, suggests that opioid receptors have inhibitory-excitatory properties.

An exploratory study using a cold pressor-induced pain paradigm, found evidence that a combination of a nutraceutical agent that enhances endorphin release with one that switches opioid receptors from an excitatory to inhibitory mode not only increased pain tolerance, but also reduced emotional and physical distress. This discovery led to clinical application of a critically formulated endorphinergic treatment in 203 case studies over a two-year period.

Findings revealed the remarkable clinical efficacy and safety of this treatment in the relief of chronic emotional and physical distress, including anxiety, anger, depression, cravings, and hyperalgesia, as well as enhancement of well-being, productivity, mental clarity, relationships, and an adaptive response to life’s stresses. The study provides new insights into the role of endogenous opioid system imbalances in the development, treatment, and prevention of dysfunctional emotional and physical distress.

It is postulated that an Endorphinergic Distress Syndrome consists of abnormal endorphin levels together with opioid receptors predominately in their excitatory mode. Endorphinergic Distress Syndrome account for many core distress symptoms associated with chronic anxiety, addictions, pain, as well as affective personality, autism spectrum, attention-deficit, and distress-related medical problems.

The research has led to new endorphinergic formulations, combining Endorphin Enhancers, such as caffeine, with Opioid Receptor Switchers, such as n-acetylcysteine, for the relief of emotional and physical distress. The study provides a novel method to reverse the anxiogenic effects of caffeine and related hyper-excitatory substances.

Dig Deep into the Source of Inspiration for the Change

Inspiration comes forth from within. It is what the light burning within you is about, as opposed to motivation, which is doing it because if you don’t do it, there will be negative repercussions. Motivation is making oneself do something one doesn’t really want to do. Inspiration is having the clear picture of what is wished for and letting Universal forces come into play to get the outcome. This helps bring perspective why some change or habits may last and others not.

For example, take exercise. If the reason that you exercise is because if you don’t you will have poor health later on – that may motivate you to keep exercising if health is something strong enough to keep you motivated long-term or it may not be enough. You may keep it up for awhile and if the motivation is lost, you will stop. On the other hand, if you can dig deep into the source of inspiration for the change, and connect this change to the core being – your soul – your inspiration vision, the change may stick. Using exercise again, if you change the “why” of your exercise regimen to exercising because your body is a temple and source of your creativity, you then exercise because it is part of your core being, not because of external motivation. In other words, when you are looking to adopt a new habit, or a change in your life, examine why you are doing it and the reasons behind it. Try and frame it in a way that fits into your overall inspiration vision of yourself and your life.

This requires spending time to assess what your overall “why” is to begin with. For some, it may be helpful to start at the end, and work way back. Look at the end of your life. What do you see? What are you doing? Who are you? Who is with you? What have you done with your life? In doing this, you can create an overall vision map of how you get to the end. Why you do anything you do each day when you get up. You then have choices each day, all day long. With each choice, you can ask yourself, how does this fit into my inspiration vision? Does it fit at all?

For many of us, some of what we do fits, but there are still many things that don’t. The challenge then is to decide if you stick to your overall vision, modify it, or ignore it. But if the inspiration of this vision, or whatever vision you create is truly what inspires you, then it will also inspire what you do along the way and your changes will stem from inspiration, instead of motivation.

Presence is the thread that weaves the rest of life together. Through this change, life takes on a hyper-awareness of actions, interactions, and thoughts. Presence goes hand in hand with awareness and acceptance. Spend a lot of your time just watching what you are doing or thinking, and trying to not be too attached to what is happening. This change is a way of being and a practice in progress. Catch yourself being caught up in emotions and reactions to situations that are not going the way you would like them to, and realize that the inner need to want to control everything so that it is perfect. Insight does not equal wisdom. One might have gained a lot of insight, but not yet wise to let go of the emotional response.

Synchronicity is being in tune with everything around you to draw something to you that is directly in line with what you are asking for, needing, or wanting. Synchronicity is like a Super Power when you are tuned in. It is one of those powers that quietly hide when your connection is corroded, so you don’t realize it’s not there. But when the connection is repaired, it is all around you. Not chance, or coincidence, but synchronicity.

How much we actually neglect mindfully practicing gratitude! Start a practice of writing down 5 things you are grateful for every day. It kind of may irritate you that you need to make this a practice in order to do it. Let it become part of your morning inspiration practice: Write down 5 things, set an intention for the day, and then meditate.

Dieting is not connected with inspiration, only with motivation. When feeling motivated, we may not put crap into our body. But when one is not motivated, one is mindless about what goes into one’s body. Focus on connecting health and exercise with vision and find out if this works.

Being vulnerable is what allows us to make new connections and deepen existing connections. Do you act from motivation, inspiration or a combination of the two? What works for you?

Incorrectness In Deception Detections


Human intelligence is the key to know when the information obtained is false. There is no clue or clue pattern that is specific to deception, although there are clues specific to emotion and cognition.

In general, behavioral clues are limited in their abilities to identify deception and that there are still behavioral measurement issues that may plague research on deception. Human beings cultivate what they hate, plan, and then execute terrorist attacks. Any information that can aid the intelligence or security officer to weigh the veracity of the information he or she obtains from suspected terrorists or those harboring them would help prevent attacks. This would then not only add another layer to force protection but would facilitate future intelligence gathering. Yet the face-to-face gathering of information through suspected terrorists, informants, or witnesses is replete with obstacles that affect its accuracy such as the well-documented shortcomings of human memory, honest differences of opinion, as well as outright deception.

In day-to-day life, most lies are betrayed by factors or circumstances surrounding the lie, and not by behavior. However, there are times when demeanor is all at our disposal to detect someone who is lying about current actions or future intent. Because a lie involves a deliberate, conscious behavior, we can speculate that this effort may leave some trace, sign, or signal that may betray that lie. What interests the society at large, is are there clues perceptible to the unaided eye that can reliably discriminate between liars and truth tellers; do these clues consistently predict deception across time, types of lies, different situations, and cultures; and if they are true, then how well can our counter-terrorism professionals make these judgments, and can they do this in real time, with or without technological assistance!

To date no researcher has documented a behavior or pattern of behaviors that in all people, across all situations, is specific to deception. All the behaviors identified and examined to date can also occur for reasons unrelated to deception. Generally speaking, detecting lies from behavior suggests two broad families of behavioral clues occur when someone is lying. They are clues related to liar’s memory and thinking about what they are saying known as cognitive clues, and clues related to liar’s feelings and feelings about deception called emotional clues.

A lie conceals, fabricates, or distorts information; this involves additional mental effort. The liar must think harder than a truth teller to cover up, create events that have not happened, or to describe events in a way to allow multiple interpretations. Additional mental effort is not solely the domain of the outright liar; however, a person who must tell an uncomfortable truth to another will also engage in additional mental effort to come up with the proper phrasing while simultaneously reducing the potential negative emotional reaction of the other. This extra effort tends to manifest itself with longer speech latencies, increased speech disturbances, less plausible content, less verbal and vocal involvement, less talking time, more repeated words and phrases, and so forth. Research has also shown that some nonverbal behaviors change as a result of this mental effort. For example, illustrators like hand or head movements that accompany speech, and are considered by many to be a part of speech will decrease when lying compared to telling the truth.

Another way in which cognition is involved in telling a lie is through identification of naturalistic memory characteristics. This means that experienced events have memory qualities that are apparent upon description that are different from events that have not been experienced. Events that were not actually experienced feature more ambivalence, have fewer details, a poorer logical structure, less plausibility, more negative statements, and are less embedded in context. Liars are also less likely to admit lack of memory and have less spontaneous corrections and may use more negative emotion words and fewer self and other references. Mental effort clues seem to occur more in the delivery of the lie, whereas memory recall clues tend to rest more in the content of the lie.

Not all lies will tax mental effort; for example, it is much less mentally taxing to answer a close ended question like “Did you pack your own bags?” with a yes or no than to answer an open ended “What do you intend to do on your trip?” Moreover, a clever liar can appear more persuasive if he or she substitutes an actual experienced event as their alibi rather than creating an entirely new event. This may be why a recent general review paper found consistent non-homogeneous effect sizes for these mental effort and memory-based cues across the studies they reviewed, as the particular paradigms used by researchers varied greatly in the extent to which the lies that were studied mentally taxed the liars.

Lies can also generate emotions, ranging from the excitement and pleasure of “pulling the wool over someone’s eyes” to fear of getting caught to feelings of guilt first suggested that emotions tend to manifest themselves in the facial expressions, as well as in the voice tones, and that these could be reliable enough to accurately identify emotional states. Research has since shown that for some expressions, for example, anger, contempt, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, distress, or surprise in all cultures throughout the planet recognize and express these emotions in both the face and voice similarly. To the extent that a lie features higher stakes for getting caught, we would expect to see more of these signs of emotion in liars compared to truth tellers. If the lie is a polite lie that people tell often and effortlessly, there would be less emotion involved. Meta-analytic studies suggest that liars do appear more nervous than truth tellers, with less facial pleasantness, higher vocal tension, higher vocal pitch, greater pupil dilation, and fidgeting. If the lie itself is about emotions, for example, telling someone that one feels calm, when in fact one is nervous; the research shows that signs of the truly felt emotion appear in the face and voice despite attempts to conceal, although these signs are often subtle and brief.

We Are Spirit, Have a Soul and Live In a Body

That is the wisdom of nature, reflecting outside what is created within. We are spirit, have a soul and live in a body. It is in our spirit that we have meaning and purpose in life. At the deepest level, our spirit gives us meaning and purpose and our spirit enables us to love one another, our self and God. It is through our spirit that we have communion and fellowship with God. Our spirit gives us intuition between right and wrong.

Our spiritual health will have a significant impact on our emotional health which will have a major influence on our physical health. The inter-connection between the spirit, the soul and the body is certainly a complex connection; nevertheless, the connection is very real. We pray that God may prosper in all things and be in health, just as our soul prospers. This is an indication of the importance of attending to matters of the soul as it relates to being healthy.

Our soul is what gives us our personality and it is through our soul that we live out our relationship with God, with other people and with our self. Our soul has three major components—mind, will and emotions. Our mind has a conscious part and a subconscious part. The conscious mind is where we do our thinking and reasoning. The sub-conscious mind is where we hold our deep beliefs and our attitudes. It is also where we have our feeling, our emotions and retain our memories. Our will is what gives us the ability to make choices. Through a very complex way, our mind, our will and our emotions are connected to the body through our endocrine, nervous and immune systems. The mind and body communicate constantly. What the mind thinks, perceives, and experiences is sent from our brain to the rest of the body.

It is by our body that we function. It is comprised of organs and cells which consist of protein carbohydrates and fats. Our body contains our nervous system with nerves and the brain. It is through our bodies that we connect to the physical world with our five senses. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. The human body is unique, the most complex organism in the world, and that complexity and uniqueness speak volumes about the mind of its Creator. Every aspect of the body, down to the tiniest microscopic cell, reveals that it is fearfully and wonderfully made.

The human brain is also an amazing organ. It has the ability to learn, reason, and control so many automatic functions of the body such as heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and to maintain balance to walk, run, stand, sit, all while concentrating on something else. Computers can outdo the human brain in raw calculating power, but are primitive when it comes to performing most reasoning tasks. The brain also has an amazing ability to adapt. When people put on glasses that make the world seem upside down, their brains quickly reinterpret the information they are being given to perceive the world as “right-side-up.” When people are blindfolded for long periods of time, the “vision center” of the brain soon begins to be used for other functions. When people move to a house near a railroad, soon the sound of the trains is filtered out by their brains, and they lose conscious thought of them.

When it comes to miniaturization, the human body is also a marvel. For instance, information needed for the replication of an entire human body, with every detail covered, is stored in the double-helix DNA strand found in the nucleus of each of the billions of cells in the human body. A system of information and control is represented by our nervous system, so compact in comparison to man’s clumsy inventions of wires and optical cables. Each cell, once called a “simple” cell, as small as it is, is a tiny factory that is not yet fully understood by man. As microscopes become more and more powerful, able to magnify smaller and smaller fields, the infinite vistas of the human cell begin to come into focus.

Consider the single fertilized cell of a newly conceived human life. From that one cell within the womb of mother, develop all of the different kinds of tissues, organs, and systems, and they all work together at just the right time—amazing! An example is the hole in the septum between the two ventricles in the heart of the newborn infant that closes up at just the right time to allow for the oxygenation of the blood from the lungs which is not used in the womb.

Further, the body’s immune system is able to fight off so many enemies and restore itself, from the smallest repair; even down to repairing bad portions of DNA, to the largest repair; mending of bones and recovery from major accidents. There are diseases that will eventually overcome the body as we age because of man’s fall into sin and the resulting curse, but we have no idea exactly how many times our immune system has saved us from death that would surely have occurred without it.

The functions of the human body are also incredible. The contrast of being able to handle large, heavy objects and yet to be able to carefully manipulate a delicate object without breaking it is also amazing. We can shoot a bow and arrow, repeatedly hitting a distant target, peck away quickly at a computer keyboard without thinking about the keys, crawl, walk, run, twirl around, climb, swim, do somersaults and flips, and perform “simple” tasks such as unscrewing a light bulb, brushing our teeth, and lacing up our shoes, again without thinking. Indeed, these are “simple” things, but man has yet to design and program a robot that is able to perform such a vast range of tasks and motions.

The function of the digestive tract, the liver and other major organs, the longevity of the heart, the formation and function of nerves and of blood vessels, the function of the lymphatic system, the cleansing of the blood through the kidneys, the ability of the reproductive system to create cells able to mate up with another cell from the opposite gender and produce a cell with twice as many chromosomes, the complexity of the inner and middle ear, the sense of taste and smell, and so many other things we barely understand—each one is a marvel and beyond man’s ability to duplicate fully.

Truly, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. How grateful we are to know God created man in His own image.


Posted September 3, 2013 by dranilj1 in BODY_MIND_HEART_SPIRIT

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You Are the Light inside the Lamp

To know the self is the reason we practice self-awareness and self-training. That self is like the still center of a wheel, where the four functions of mind operates the external wheel in the world. These functions include sensory processing by mind, storage of impressions, I-maker or ego, and finally knowing, deciding, judging, and discriminating. One has to aspire to understand each function individually, and coordinate them all with one another.

To establish coordination among the functions of mind, one needs to watch the mind’s functioning through actions and speech, observe the thinking process within, which reveals the underlying thought process in the mind. To watch the mind’s functioning through actions and speech means that the motions and words give a mirror reflection of what is going on in one’s own mind. Often, we watch the gestures and body language of other people, and infer what is going on inside that person. Though we might not always be exactly correct, we all do this with some degree of accuracy. We can do the same thing with ourselves, learning of our inner mental and emotional states by observing our own gestures and body language, our own actions and speech. While observing actions and speech, one should directly observe the inner process of mind at the same time.

While we are observing our actions and speech so as to understand our inner states, we also can literally observe the thinking process within, this means observing the four functions of mind at the moment they are operating, observe the four functions of mind independently of one another and observe the four functions of mind as they interact with one another. While this can take some time to learn, it is extremely fruitful when practiced for a while. It becomes very easy and natural to observe our actions, speech, and thoughts. It brings heightened awareness and a sense of inner peace.

The greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.

First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind’s way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.

Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying, ‘time heals all wounds’ is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.

Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

Last is the door of death; the final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told. We humans need fantasy to be human; a point where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

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